Experiences are worth more than things

I have a reminder tacked to my office wall. It's a hand-written note that says: "Experiences are worth more than things."

I wrote this after I tried --and failed-- to purchase a house that I'd fallen in love with. Even though the house instantly felt like "the one" and I could so easily visualize my life unfolding inside it, I realized in the nick of time that its expenses would swallow me.

Even though it was never mine, turning down the house made me feel like a failure. If only I made more money...if only I had a partner who wanted to share this house (and its expenses) with me...

But experiences are worth more than things, so I tacked that reminder to my wall to remind myself that I really would rather invest in my life than a mortgage and interest. If renting allows me to splurge on good meals, take a spur-of-the moment trip, or spoil someone I love on their birthday, then I'm content.

It's now four months later, and I've allowed myself to splurge -- a whole lot. So this week, I'm going to try to buy almost nothing. After I've become accumstomed to impulse shoe purchases and designer handbags, it's going to take a bit of focus and self-denial, but I'm eager to try. Since I have a fridge fully stocked with groceries and leftovers (not to mention a Netflix account, gym membership and stack of library books to keep me busy), it's a good time to try.

Books Read (so far) in 2011

• How We Decide by Jonah Lehrer
• The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
• Bossypants by Tina Fey!
• Player One by Douglas Coupland
• An Object of Beauty by Steve Martin
• You Had Me at Woof: How Dogs Taught Me the Secrets of Happiness by Julie Klam
• Please Excuse My Daughter by Julie Klam
• The Science of Single by Rachel Machacek
• The Invisible Gorilla: And Other Ways Our Intuitions Deceive Us by Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons
• Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifestto by Chuck Klosterman
• Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman
• Click: The Magic of Instant Connections by Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman
• Started Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior by Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman  (didn't finish it because it belabored the same point over and over and over!)
• Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach
• Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story by Chuck Klosterman

updated November 18, 2011

A Just World

Tonight I told a wise friend that I'm angry about my dad's diagnosis. I'm angry at the world. I'm mad at my life. I'm angry with every person, co-worker and bad driver who brings me a problem that doesn't solve the only problem I care about: my dad's tumor. I am a bitter, angry person.

My friend told me to ask four questions.
Is my anger warranted? Yes.
Is my anger justified? Yes.
Am I entitled to this anger? Yes.
Can I afford to sustain my anger?

Not really. Because it won't bring me much good.

But it seems like such an aggregious lack of balance. How dare the universe strike both my parents? How dare cancer creep up on a family that's already so small? We need each other; we three are all we've got.

So we talked about a Just World. The Just World exists only in our collective unconscious. We believe that the world should meet us halfway. If we go to college and get good grades, the world should have a job waiting for us because it's only right. If we love, we should be loved. If we lead a healthy, productive life, we shouldn't get sick.

But the Just World, as real as it is in our minds, isn't really promised to anyone.

Maybe Everyone is Crazy

I told James: "Maybe everyone is crazy, and the best any of us can do is find someone that we like to sit with."

He said, "No. The best you can do is find someone who's crazy in the same way you are."

I think he's right.